


what could have happened

by vethbernatto



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Misgendering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-06 01:21:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12806490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vethbernatto/pseuds/vethbernatto
Summary: Rich likes to think about what could have happened





	what could have happened

Sometimes he likes to think of what could have happened.

 

Maybe, if Merilyn was stronger, she could have stayed away the first time, with a six year old on her hip and an eleven year old clutching her hand.

 

Maybe, if Merilyn had lived longer, she could have protected him longer, gotten out of there sooner, protected the boy who lived five blocks away, and the two who lived with her.

 

Maybe, if Merilyn had said 'no’ when the boy offered her a drink at that small town bar so many years ago, she would still be here.

 

Maybe, if Robert was different, he could have been a great father, who taught his oldest how to play baseball, and smiled and said 'then you're a boy’ when his youngest didn't want to be his little girl anymore.

 

Maybe, if Robert was saner, he could have been a wonderful father, who taught his youngest how to dance, and smiled and played board games.

 

Maybe, if Robert didn't hit, and punch and kick and scream, and scare and drink and hurt, he could have been great.

 

Maybe, if he had been stronger, and said that, no he wasn't going to give the man four hundred dollars for what was probably a scam.

 

Maybe, if he had been smarter, and he could have seen the way that his best friend looked at him, as if he himself, had hung the stars.

 

Maybe, if he wasn't so desperate, he wouldn't have allowed a stupid, glowing green puppet frog to control everything he had done.

 

Maybe he could have been smarter, and better, and not so oblivious, he would have realized that, yes, he had people who cared.

 

He had Brooke, who smiled at him and gave him half of of her brownie everyday at lunch.

 

He had Jake, who drug him around to all of his favorite places, and smiled at him.

 

He had Thomas who had always done everything he could to protect him.

 

Maybe if he had been braver, he would have told that stupid frog that, no, he was not going to pick on the kid that he had been crushing on since fourth grade.

 

Maybe, if he had been wiser, he wouldn't have let those glowing green eyes convince him that everything would be fine, of he just obeyed.

 

Maybe, he wouldn't have told Jeremy about the squip, and maybe, he would have jumped off the old town bridge instead of burning down the love of his life’s home, and maybe he could have prevented all of his friends from getting squiped, and maybe just maybe, if he was a little less resilient, be could have stopped it all, and told the police long ago, and he could be gone.

 

But he wasn't.

 

And Merilyn sat dead in a grave, and Robert is an abusive asshole, and Thomas is gone overseas fighting to protect him, and Jeremy was stuck knowing that he almost destroyed everything, and everything wasn't okay.

 

Because what could have happened, isn't what happened.

 

What happen was Merilyn was dead. Robert was an asshole. Thomas was gone. He swallowed a computer to fix his life. He tormented the kid he had been crushing on. He squiped Jeremy. He burned down Jake's home in the hopes that he would die. Jake might never walk again. Jeremy and Michael would never be the same. 

 

And in the end, he can't change anything.

 

But maybe.

Maybe that could begin to heal

  
Just, maybe...

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me on tumblr  
> [main](http://callme-jakey.tumblr.com/)   
> [bmc side](https://transjakobdillinger.tumblr.com/)


End file.
